Crying is good for the soul.
It cleanses the body of a build-up of toxins, of suppressed emotions, and loosens all the gunk that gets stuck in our bodies.
We need to change our narrative around expressing the fullness of our feelings. For it is part of our nature to grieve, to cry tears of joy, to express beauty, and to connect with life itself.
Our tears often offer us a pathway to clear what needs to be cleared, and restore our souls. They can be a space for renewal.
When I work with clients, often extreme Type A personalities, who have spent a lifetime stuffing their feelings down, sucking it up, and showing the world a brave face, I find there’s usually an opportunity to help them create a practice of cathartic cleansing for themselves.
As they do their work, it becomes obvious that the dam, the wall they’ve built, and the armor they put on day-after-day is about to crack and break. And, when the crack starts, the floodgates of truth will coming pouring in.
I know, all too well, personally, the ramifications of not creating space to release. To resist the need for real cathartic cleansing.
For me, it put me in the hospital 15 years ago. I had actually manifested a mass in my chest due to the build-up of stress, anxiety, grief, and every other emotion I was stuffing down and avoiding at the time.
Not to mention, all the coping strategies and addictions in my life at that time, due to wanting, and desperately needing, to “take the edge off.”
My body came to the brink of shutting itself down. I not only exploded, I imploded, as well. And, I created a mass due to the immense pressure build-up I kept storing in my body … feeling like a heart attack at the time.
Since that rock bottom moment, I have instilled a regular practice of intentional cathartic cleansing in to my life. Dedicated time I carve out to let myself rest, heal, and be with all of my emotions and feelings.
The usually means a space where a lot of tears fall.
I tend schedule this for myself to do on a weekend, so that I can cry freely and then let the puffiness in my face calm down so that I can be “presentable” to the world once again.
I create quiet pockets of comfort and coziness.
Spaces that feel safe and nurturing to me. Spaces where I will not be interrupted or pulled out of my cleanse. Spaces for just me.
Sometimes, it’s watching sappy movies, or listening to melancholy music. Other times, it means forest bathing, or simply connecting deeply into Mother Nature and allowing myself to be held in the trees.
In fact, I have been known to lean against or hug a tree and just let the tears flow. I get some strange looks sometimes, but I don’t care. I stopped caring what others think when it comes to my own self-care rituals.
I do what I need, not what others approve of or even understand.
Because how we cleanse our soul is deeply personal.
And, it changes from time to time, and for different circumstances. I have a variety of ways I practice cathartic cleansing, and I love to mix things up.
The only constant is that we all need this space.
We need dedicated, regular time for our own cathartic cleansing. We need time for ourselves, by ourselves … away from family, friends and demands. Away from the outside world, where we can just be with ourselves.
As I mentioned, I help clients (often who are close to the fumes or black abyss of burnout I’ve mentioned before), establish their own practice.
For most, the first time they engage in cathartic cleansing, they find it scary, difficult, and it can even trigger a block that has them stuck in how and where to start.
So, we start small.
I ask them if there are any movies, songs, or books that always make them cry. I offer that they schedule time to indulge in that thing.
Way back when I was first learning how to allow myself space for cathartic cleansing, I would watch movies like: Rudy or The Notebook. And, when I did, the tears would come and the floodgates would open.
The point being, is to find something that can serve as a catalyst to spark the flow of tears. Once they start to well up, the opportunity then is not to stifle them and shut them down (as is the current practice for most people, and that of my clients initially), but to allow them flow freely.
Even if it’s only for a few minutes … a little goes a long way.
Now, as I have had a deliberate practice for cathartic cleansing, I find sometimes I will cry for hours. Just letting the tears flow. It’s so freeing. I can feel a tremendous release throughout my entire body, as a result.
I am gentle with myself through the process, and remind my clients to do the same. I usually feel pretty tapped out afterwards, and find I tend to sleep like a baby, peacefully and completely.
I wake up feeling refreshed, recharged, and renewed.
I also feel tremendously lighter and freer in both my spirit and in my body. My head feels clearer. And, my heart feels wide open.
All by allowing myself the space and grace to cleanse.
So, I invite you to create a practice for yourself. It doesn’t have to be hard or overly time-consuming … for, it can be as easy as this:
- Schedule a small window of time for your first cathartic cleansing.
- Create an environment for yourself that feels cozy, comfy, and inviting.
- Communicate to others if you need space to be alone of your intention.
- Eliminate outside distractions and demands of you.
- Watch a movie or listen to a song that makes you emotional.
- Settle in and let yourself just be.
- Be gentle with yourself, as the tears may not flow the first time.
Know that there is no right or wrong way to create a practice for cathartic cleansing. It’s simply about honoring yourself, and being proactive in your own self-care and self-love.
Be creative. Try different approaches (e.g., maybe a salt bath, or writing … both also can be catalysts for me in my owh cathartic cleansing).
My practice right now, is to honor dedicated space for myself at least once a month. This is my time to release, to heal, to just clear out the build-up. In addition, I also practice what I refer to as my “Sacred Slowdown Sunday” — where I purposefully slow myself down to feel into just being. It’s a snuggle space with my dog. I read, listen to music, take long walks on the trails, or just allow myself be in the stillness.
I use these spaces to clear away everything else and just listen to the whisper within my own heart, and to feed my soul.
I wonder … what will your cathartic cleansing practice look like?
I’d love to hear from you.