Look, I don’t know about you … but, I seriously am done with the overplayed self-help mantras, toxic positivity, and motivational slogans slinging their endless barrage and messaging that, “winners never quit.”
It seems to be the rally cry for every influencer, business owner, and entrepreneur these days, and often part of their sales pitch. Which, more times than not, feels sleazy and plays to this ridiculous notion that somehow we are broken or not enough.
For the love of our own sanity, can we just call bullshit on all of it?
We revere this statement as if it’s an absolute truth, an infallible principle in which we should live by, we must live by. Often, at the detriment of our own well-being, in the process.
I’m just going to throw the gauntlet down and exclaim with glee, that I quit all the time! Yes, it’s called strategic quitting and it’s the best strategy I use to grow, to stretch, to evolve, and to create sustainable success.
Seriously, isn’t it time to lean into a deeper wisdom in knowing when to step back, reassess, and sometimes, just give yourself big permission to actually quit?
Let me assure if you are uneasy about this prompting, that this decision is deeply satisfying and empowering once you fully give yourself permission.
So, I want to explore this provocative (and very charged) topic with you a little to see what we might uncover. And, I want to tease out the notion of perseverance, resilience, and the underrated art of strategic quitting.
The Cost of Our Endless Persistence
As children we are taught to keep pushing forward, to wind and grind, hustle for the muscle, no matter what. That we are not to give up, and that we are to persevere relentlessly until we succeed. This, then, is reinforced in school and in business. It gets pounded into us (sometime literally).
Now, I would agree there are times where this is a valid frame. Though, truth be told, the instances where this holds true is a lot less than you might think. We often lose sight of the right context in which it serves.
We forget that when used as a blanket statement, void of context or a manageable timeframe, these words can also lead to ongoing burnout, massive frustration, exhaustion, and wasted effort when applied blindly.
Consider the entrepreneur pouring years into a failing business, clinging to the belief that persistence alone will turn the tide. Or, the athlete who pushes through injuries, risking long-term damage (and the inevitable end to their career and dreams) in pursuit of short-term glory. Or, the child who is told to keep practicing the instrument they no longer have a passion for, or that they find they are simply not skilled at reading music.
Push, push, push … keep grinding, keep practicing.
I mean, “no pain, no gain” right? Isn’t that what we tell ourselves or others say? We stay quiet, keep our head down and we force ourselves to do the thing. “Rub some dirt on it,” they claim, “suck it up,” we mutter, “passion’s overrated,” we begin to internalize and believe … and, so the damaging narrative goes. And, with it, comes the self-deprecation and self-loathing.
In these incidents, the mantra “winners never quit” is doing more damage than good. It paralyzes our motivation, it cuts off our inspiration, passion, and creativity, and it, ultimately, destroys the human spirit. It becomes a trap, a cage, when we feel like prisoners in our own mind and bodies.
We Need to Stop Shoulding and Shaming Ourselves
One of the biggest pitfalls of ingraining and maintaining the “winners never quit” narrative is the massive pressure it puts on you to stay the course, regardless of whether it makes sense any longer or isn’t congruent with your true desires and values.
This often leads to a tremendous amount of shoulding and shaming all over yourselfâ—âthe incessant need of feeling obligated to continue a course of action simply because we believe we should, or have been told we should, rather than because it feels correct and right for us, and is aligned in bringing us fulfillment or greater access to our goals. And, if we deter from that assumption, enter in the shame storm.
For example, you might continue in a job you deeply dislike because you feel you should stick with it for the sake of financial or job stability, you don’t want to let others down, or for mere appearances sake.
This can lead to harboring intense feelings of resentment, anger, bitterness, stagnation, lackluster, unease, and an absence of authenticity and alignment.
When we’re constantly told that winners never quit, we may overlook the warning signs, dismiss our own body and our emotional feedback, or ignore opportunities for real growth and meaningful change.
This need to persevere no matter what can be especially detrimental in situations where persistence leads to diminishing returns, greater costs, or even harm to own our well-being.
For instance, staying in a toxic relationship or job, or continuing a bad habit in the name of perseverance can have serious long-term consequences on your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. The costs are just too high when we don’t know when to quit.
Why We Need to Rethink Our Narrative
Breaking free from this disempowered narrative that shames and judges us for quitting is essential for our overall collective health and well-being. However, we live in a culture that has created a stigma around quitting, leading individuals to feel inadequate or weak for even considering it.
By reframing quitting as a strategic decision, we can begin to reclaim our sovereignty and empower ourselves to make choices that align with our evolving vision, goals, and values
The ability to recognize when enough is enough, and a strategic pivot or outright exit is necessary is a hallmark of real leadership. Of course, that only happens when you learn to lead yourself first. It’s not about giving up on your dreams or admitting defeat; it’s about learning to being agile and more adaptable in the face of changing circumstances.
Let’s face it, things change. Sometimes, once we see what is behind curtain of the initial lure that had us want to do the thing, we find out it wasn’t at all what we thought or hoped it would be.
We need to be able to say, “I tried that, and it wasn’t quite the right fit. I am OK in letting it go. I am going to quit this thing in order to make room for something else.”
In business, this might mean discontinuing a product line that’s no longer viable, pivoting to a new market segment, or even closing the doors to a signature service in order to make new for something more relevant to the clients and changing marketplace. Personally, it might mean recognizing when a passion has turned into a toxic obsession, or a habit no longer serves, or when a career path no longer feels aligned.
Life is far too damn short to feel tethered to something that suck your very soul. Doing something, anything, just because somehow you think you should is the fastest way to watch your life pass you by. Stop waiting for the right moment, or tomorrow, to quit. When enough is enough, it’s time.
Strategic Quitting Takes Courage
Contrary to the “winner never quit” mentality, strategic quitting is a powerful tactic and approach. It involves evaluating all the costs and benefits of persistence versus those in letting go, weighing short-term discomfort against long-term gains or losses.
It’s about seeing and assessing the bigger picture AND checking in within yourself to hear your own truth.
At the heart of knowing when to quit lies the virtue of courage, compassion, and flexibility. Life rarely unfolds according to our initial plans, and success often requires course corrections and adjustments along the way. Those who rigidly adhere to the “winners never quit” mantra risk missing out on opportunities for growth, learning, and reinvention.
They keep themselves stifled, as a result.
Resiliency, coupled with self-awareness, allows individuals to pivot and adapt gracefully, redirecting their efforts towards more promising and fulfilling endeavors. Because success isn’t merely a function of what gets done, it is a function of our own fulfillment, satisfaction, and peace, as well. It’s not about giving up easily, but rather, it’s about channeling one’s energy and resources where they can make the most significant impact.
As transformational leaders, emotional intelligence plays a crucial role in knowing when to quit. It involves a great deal of self-awareness to acknowledge when a situation is no longer conducive to growth or our joy, the empathy to understand others’ perspectives, the courage to choose a different response, and the ability to manage emotions effectively.
Leaders who excel at emotional intelligence can navigate complex relationships, business challenges, changing marketplace and global landscapes, and personal growth journeys with grace and insight.
They understand that quitting strategically is not a failure but a smart choice in pursuit of greater fulfillment and meaning. It is the pathway to greater impact, value, and sustainable success.
Quitting as a Strategic Superpower
While “winners never quit” has its place in inspiring perseverance and resilience in the right context and in structured timeframes, it’s crucial to also know when to quit is equally, if not more, important. Knowing and trusting when enough is enough, is not only a strategic play, it is the mark of great leaders and the illustration of courage and leadership in action.
Strategic quitting is not a sign of weakness but a underrated superpower, as allows individuals and organizations to thrive in continually dynamic, changing, evolving, and unpredictable environments.
So, the next time you find yourself grappling with a challenging situation, remember that true wisdom lies not just in persistence but in the courage to quit strategically when needed.
Winners who know when to quit possess a deep sense of self-compassion, courage, and authenticity. They recognize that success is not just about pushing through obstacles relentlessly but also about making wise, self-respecting choices along the way. Ones that feel aligned AF, if I may.
By letting go of the shoulding and shaming, and embracing authenticity, we can align our actions with our deepest desires, values, passions, and aspirations. This often means stepping a bit off the beaten path, trusting your own intuition, reevaluating priorities, and letting go of pursuits that no longer serve our growth and well-being.
In my life I have quit many times. One example is when I left my corporate career after climbing the ladder for nearly 20 years. I quit. I moved from Milwaukee to Austin to start a new chapter. I quit. I started my own business, wrote a book (now with four published), speak internationally, train teams in Fortune 500 companies, and work with entrepreneurs, leaders, and business owners in capacities I never dreamed of
All because I had the courage to quit.
In looking back, I see those moments of strategic quitting as catalysts for my own expansion, greater growth and a pathway back to myself. I am a quitter and it’s the best thing I’ve done as a leader.
How about you? What’s been the best way you’ve decided to quit?